if life were simple we wouldnt have anything to talk about

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life is a very very funny thing don't you think? it most definitely like to throw me lots of curves balls, just to see how fast i can get out of the way before one hits me straight in the face and knocks me out... and i'm not moving out of the way as quickly as i used too... i just don't know what to do anymore. i'm so confused and yet somehow completely clear on so many things. i know what to do and what i need to do, i just can't or don't want to...i don't know. not at all. i hate it when i really ought to tell someone something, but i just can't because i'm afraid. i don't like feeling like that, not at all : ( sorry for the pretty depressing update, oh well, i can't be little miss happy-go-lucky all the time now can i? then i'd be too predictable ; )