Jesus loves you more

its been forever, i know i know. too much to do and too many things on my mind. to much to subordinate into a tiny little blog update. the human brain is too complex for mere language. i've always wanted to find a way to truly express how i feel, but words just dont quite do the trick. the time i feel most like myself and the best expressed is when i'm worshipping and spending time with my Jesus, and i love that.
just a few thoughts aching to be written out: i dont think anyone knows themselves as well as they think they do. think of how many times you have done something that completely surprised yourself, good or bad, and definitely surprising. i wish i knew it all, and i act like i do a lot of the time, but i don't know anything, about anything, at all.
i had a really long talk last night with the man i love, and i am just so thankful to have someone to stand with me in prayer and hold my hand as we try to seek after God the best way we know how. i'm so thankful.
it doesn't feel like christmas at all yet, and i miss it and i love christmas but i think i've forgotten what it feels like or rather what its supposed to feel like. i dont know what happened, but i want it back. but no worries, hopefully it'll feel like christmas soon enough, and that makes me glad.
i love the way christmas smells, like cinnamon and cookies and love. : D
most of the reasons that i do what i do is because i want people to be happy. at least i think. i mean i don't know, because i don't think any knows themselves very well. but then again maybe i do. i don't mind so much though because whether i know who I am or not I know that God knows exactly who I am and who He created me to be and I am His, His beloved, and thats all i need to know. :) about 20 minutes ago life seemed really really crazy, but its all so unimportant in the scheme of things. God is God and we were made to worship Him with all of our hearts. Its our deepest desire, to serve our King, and i love the peace and comfort that those thoughts bring and i just want to fufill my purpose so badly. I love you my Jesus. and I love all of you, but Jesus loves you more. :)