o-k-l-a-h-o-m-a

well, today was a very interesting day. i went to bed with every intention of sleeping in till kingdom come, but instead, i woke up at 8:30...most uncool, lol, so i ended up just laying around in bed for awhile, and finally, after talking to david for a while, i had some awesome breakfast, yay for my daddy! hmm, then i got back in bed, and didn't get out of it until four, at which point i was still pretty much half asleep. so i went to mow my neighbor's lawn and proceeded to do so, but then as i was dragging the lawn mower back across the lawn to put it away, i apparently ran over a bee's nest, and got stung twice. awesome. well, actually i'm really lucky it was only twice because there were about a hundred bees out there all swarming all over the mower and stuff, and i'm glad my dad wasn't out there because he's deathly allergic to bees. so i should be glad : ) lol, anyways then i watch the video of the kiser production of oklahoma, which was hilarious and awful and awesome, lol. it was so fun to see so many people i know when they were twelve in silly western outfits, hehe(especially shannon wilson who's the coolest person ever!!! hehe there yah go ; )). and now i'm even more sure that i reallllllly want to play Laurey, "the girl" yah know? like the main girl. anyways, auditions start monday so wish me luck! singing auditions aren't till later in the week(if you didn't already gather it, we are doing oklahoma for the musical this year). sigh, there is just so much talent at my school and my drama teacher seems so insistent on NEVER letting me be "the girl" EVER. it kind of makes me mad....i always end up being "the mom", "the dream", or "the dead crazy lady" sigh, i never get to be the envied, pretty girl that all the boys are after... but thats my real life too so i guess i'm used to it, oh well. why must there be such a lack of decent guys in greensboro? its not cool at all. and the few decent ones i know are all totally unavailable... : p but i shouldn't be thinking about boys, i don't have time to do that, nor do i need to be dating or even considering that right now. which is why i'm not. not that its very hard when no one is interested in me. *sigh* why do these stupid updates always end up sounding so down and blah? i'm sorry, lol, i'll try to be more upbeat next time. ; )

and finally the day is here

hehehe! ok, so, i'm totally ungrounded now and i am SOOOOO happy! lol. i was all kind of glum this afternoon and didnt feel like going to the game, but now i am most definitely going and then i get to see sammy!! its sad though cuz it will be my last night seeing her, my other big goodbye. Sam, you have done so much for me, and I love you SO much! I can't stand the thought of you leaving, but then I thiink about all the awesome weekend visits we'll have and the great new people you'll meet and stuff you'll do this year! so, in sum(hehe), I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! lalalaaaa! *fist, not really high five rocky thingy* hehehe and you know you are letting me know the first weekend you are free for me to visit! lol. ok, enough talking to sam, eh? hehe, well today was...dynamic, hehe, mostly good though. had our first pep rally,a nd of course as seniors, we had crazy fun! lol and then i did like no work in all my classes today, all i got done was : watched 2 movies, played scrabble(in spanish mind you, lol), went to taco bell, gotted pepped at the rally, lol, and otherwised just dithered the day away! hehe, it was wonderful, i love fridays. then of course, i got ungrounded! and i'm going to the game and seeing my darling Samantha! haha, i couldnt mess this day up too much now ; ) anyways, i'm really WAY too excited to come up with any deep notions or new philosophies so i'm off, and i love you guys!

philosophy on life

i decided that life should be lived from smile to smile and everything else is either leading up to it when the smile is tugging at the corners of your mouth, or right afterwards when you just can't make it completely go away. :)

just another tuesday

well, i have to do a double-day update now, since i havent talked about monday! lol, it wasn't near as bad as i thought it would be, i even caught up on some sleep in calculus...(probably a bad move but oh well, hehe!) then i came home and ate lunch with my mommy and just had a great rest of the day, especially after having way fun in english class. i laugh too much ; ) and we also had a spanish club meeting and i think i'm going to tutor hispanic kids who dont speak english at like guilford middle or something. i know it'll be tough, but i really would like to do it, especially after going to mexico and all, yay! and they even talked about going to rumba latina...random spanish nightclub here in g'boro, ok...lol, i think it sounds like fun, if not a bit sketchy...hehe, anyways, all the officers are my friends, so it'll be good. then last night i chilled with david for the last time before he leaves for ASU. :*( we had a great time eating dinner and then going to a park and swinging on the swings, climbing on the jungle gym, and just sitting and talking. haha i love playgrounds, i wish i were still like 5 years old! anyways i had a wonderful time with david and of course i cried, because i always cry, and i'm going to miss him a lot. *sigh* thats just how life is. then saturday sammy is going off to UNC-CH along with a buncha other people. my sister went back to dukeduke today after lunch, so i got to see her one last time too. then again i'm going to go visit her on sunday, so its kosher. hehe, i'm so excited about all the gas i'm gonna use going to see all my friends at various colleges!! i love driving, especially by myself, it just such a really nice time to have to yourself, yah know?

anyways, on to tuesday, today. today was a very typical day. well, almost. i got some schooling, and went out to lunch with some of the coolest chicks i know(my sister, sam, emily, amanda, and melissa!) and of course we had some tasty tasty kyoto express! then my sissie left for school and i came home and took one of the most beautiful naps i have ever taken. wow it felt so good, but i really could have just continued sleeping through the night, but i had to go to voice. so i had a good time singing away and then headed over to office depot for some more school supplies, and while i was waiting in line, this lady had this cart full of like, science project boards and totally couldnt see where she was going and runs into this huge display of all kinds of things and it just scatters and falls all over the floor with this huge crash and mess and all. hehe, and i started talking to the lady behind me in line about it and trying not to laugh, hehe. oh yeah, i also made a new friend in science class, but he is in some other class i have too, i think. anyways, that was fun. then we had a lacrosse meeting at school, then afterwards, on my way home, i realized that the car in front of me was that of my friend peter who i havent seen since he got home from school in may. so i got his attention and he realized it was me, and we pulled up beside each other in the street and through our windows decided to go get food, haha so awesome and random! so we swung by his house and i watch olympic fencing with his parents for a bit and then ate at the carolina cafe at friendly, its really good! haha, so anyways, that was SO random and awesome. yay for today! so now its time to hit the books : p

i love spontaneity.

i ate some choly-melan tonight

and it didn't taste very good.... i really don't like being melancholy, not at all, i feel ooky and like no one wants to be around me or talk to me because i'm no fun and generally just blah. i know that if they are my real friends they love me no matter what, but thats just how i feel. plus i wonder how many real friends i actually have, the tininess of the number scares me a bit.
well now its officially monday, the day that will live in infamy as the day that sucked.... i just know today gonna be awful :( lets see, i'm dreading the whole day because i didnt do any of my work, and therefore will have to deal with crap and get in trouble in all of my classes.... why can't i have self-control and be wiser? why do i have to care about things so much? things that only distract me because i think of them too often.... why can't i be patient and just seek after God without being anxious for something to happen or not happen? why can't i trust Him more? why do i have to be so down and rhetorical tonight?? *sigh* i need to give up, i really do need to surrender. *sigh*
today was ok i guess. i went to church this morning, talked about mexico, enjoyed the sermon, and then had a wonderfully tasty lunch with david, yay for baja fresh! so that was good, then we just talked for a little while and took him home. then i came back to my house, did a lot of nothing, and then went to ofy, which was ok, i guess. idk, by then my mood was significantly worse than earlier in the day, probably because every minute that passes means its that much sooner than david leaves, and that much sooner that sammy leaves, and that much sooner that all of those crazy college kids leave. :*(

status: not a happy camper

in all sincerity i don't think i can get up in the morning... and as much as i care what other people think of me, i think they are just going to have to be happy with unshowered, poorly dressed, and an anything but peppy lauren. yup. *sigh* sorry to be so down, but if i can't be honest on here, then...idk what. it's sad if you can't even be honest in your own silly journal. ah well, hehe, one of my friends just totally made me smile, check it:

me: blah
another lauren: such enthusiasm
another lauren: can I quote you on that?
me: absolutely
another lauren: consider it quoted
me: yay
another lauren: I deleted half my profile for that
another lauren: consider yourself special

so anyways, that just made me smile, yay : D so now i think it high time i went to bed before i think anymore. much love.

$30 and a weekend

equation of the day:
$30 + one weekend+ college move-in + family reunion + 3 cars + awesome best friends = lauren chillin with sam, all weekend, ungrounded, with her own car (finally) for a weekend of paradise.

i'm SO excited! the 'rents are leaving until late sunday night and i get some freedom alllll weekend long, hehe, best ever! i'm going hang with david on friday night, maybe go to ace's while sam and her parents hit up services (crazy jews and shabbat on fridays...whatever) haha, it was the bestest ever, on wednesday, i was riding in alyssa's car with rachel k. and amanda to eat some tasty sandwiches at lauren w.'s house. so, of course, those silly jews had jewish music playing, in hebrew and all. so of course i start to hum as always, even though i didnt know the song. and today at school, melissa a. come's up to me and says "so petty, you didn't tell me you spoke hebrew! i heard you were singing some crazy jewish music real loud in the car yesterday!" and i so eloquently replied "i don't speak jewish" haha, score, i really don't speak hebrew though, i know like 4 songs, and i can pronounce it...lol but i swear i really didn't know the song! anyways, that comment just made my day! i'm not sure why, but hey, it did! hehehe. then david and i got some coffee right after school and that totally was awesome. the only bummer about today is my awesome big sissie is leaving for college tomorrow!! : ( so that's pretty sad, she's the firs tof my college friends to leave(yes she is my friend, one of my best ones in fact). anyways, back to today i wore my hair curly today, and if i had worn it straight, it would have been curly by the end of the day, so yay for good luck!!

today was just one of those days that i found so much joy in so many little things.

it was just awesome, and all because i started my day off right with wheaties and some good bible reading time. well, minus the wheaties, i actually had golden grahams, much less healthy, and much better tasting. hehe! then tonite at dinner my family and i laughed way to hard talking about cuba and mexico and my dad's antics. all i can say i wow, i am blessed. : D

politics in taiwan

well, i had my first day of school today. senior year. awesome. my day was just fine. no more or less special really than any other day, other than i didnt see very much of the one teacher i don't like, hehe rock on. and i had some good laughs, and am generally excited about most of my classes. i probably didnt start off the year as well as i had hoped(all my assignments done and all) but oh well, no one's perfect right? ; ) anyways, then later on my day took a sudden nosedive, well my mood did, for whatever reason...lot of things culminating mostly, you know how there are a few not so great things in life and if you think of them all at the same time, you just start to freak out? well, maybe not, but i sure know that feeling ; ) anyways, then i talked to two of my most favorite people ever, and after getting it all out, i felt a billion and a half times better. as always i didnt get to talk to either of them for near as long as i would have liked, but, hey, there's always tomorrow right? right. and even though they are going off to college, they'll still exist. hehe. but remember if you try to remind me of that as they drive away...well, my memory's not that good ; ) but hey, no one's perfect remember? david lent me a book, and i'm really excited to read it, i started to plough(i think that's british too...) through it like all books i read, and then i stopped. reread the first section. and stopped. then i began to really meditate on what it said and pray about it and all. and i was so proud of myself for doings not my way, but instead the right way. hehehe that makes me so glad! : ) anyways, so with all that under my belt, its time to finish my homework. man i'm really wanting a biscuit right about now...hehe ; )

the wafting scent of biscuits

i just realized that my favorite smell in the whole entire world is baking biscuits. it reminds me of everything happy and warm and wonderful that i've ever experienced in my entire life. i'm so happy right now : ) and i love biscuits ; )

p.s. who left the comment?

i always forget the subject line

today has been a day full of contemplation. probably because almost everything i do this year will be a "last" yah know? my last first day of high school, my last year, my last 7:30 class, my last prom, last lacrosse season, last everything before college anyways. haha, its going to be a sentimental year...lemme tell yah. anyways, today i just got a letter, like an in the mail letter, i was really excited and it was really nice and encouraging and yay for friends! lol, i think hopefully i'll get my car back tomorrow, at least to go to school anyways, and maybe my parents will only ground me for a week anyway? *hopes* now i should really go read some more of my summer reading... i was just about to make a really dumb joke about how it should be called bummer reading, but then realised(i've been reading a book written in british english for way too long) how stupid that sounded... haha yay for me, it was so dumb i laughed anyway, score! so, anyways, another year is about to start. my last year. i can't wait :)

You see flowers in these weeds...

well school starts tomorrow. and every so often my feelings towards it switch back and forth. i am dreading going back, doing work, getting up early, etc etc, but then again i can't wait to see a bunch of my friends and have open lunch and all that good stuff. but also, sadly, all of my really good friends, my best friends, are all going off to college or going back to college this year. and the summer that i spent with all of them was wonderful, SO wondeful, and it just kills me to see it all come to a close : ( and even though i can still talk to them and visit them a few times. its not the same. i'm not a part of their life anymore, not a big part, or an essential part, maybe its selfish of me to think like that, but all i know is that it kills me. i'm just gonna be another spectator in their new chapter of life, another person they give weekly updates to on what clubs they've joined and what awesome people they have met. so i'm just sitting on the side of the road and watching as a huge portion of my life is packing up all of their clothes and posters and getting ready to drive off east or west or north or south, wherever any of them are headed, its away from home. and it kills me. so heres goes one more year, and then i get to leave the rest of the people i love to start some crazy new adventure in college. c'est la vie. i guess... man, i'm not really sure how i suddenly got in this downish mood... its ok though, at least i'll get to visit all my crazy college friends and i'll eventually be ungrounded and all will be well. and none of that matters anyway because no matter what God is good and God is faithful and God loves me, always, and I'm never going to forget that again. : )

at least the house is clean.. ; )

hey hey hey guys. well, i just got in big trouble for something, so now i'm cut off from all means of communication...awesome. oh yeah, and its "until further notice" *sigh* (yes i'm being bad right now...oops) anyways. i've been doing a lot of cleaning, a LOT of movie watching, and not enough reading for school, hehe. anyways, so i'm just chillin with my family and myself. this should be an interesting year... hopefully some of my privileges will come back when school starts... i'm hoping! so, don't expect too many updates in the near future... ; ) i love you guys! : )

i hate it when i royally screw up everything....:*(

don't you see that the charade is over?

haha well score, today was an eventful day, well sort of, i guess it was eventful for me : ) after dropping my sister off at 8am this morning to drive with her friends to the beach, I finally had the car to myself. yay! therefore, i called up my ex-boyfriend who i broke up with a few weeks ago. see the thing is, i broke up with him for a few specific reasons but then after i broke up with him i found out that he had cheated on me. awesome. so i was, as you can imagine, absolutely going ballistic furious. i calmed down a bit after being at the beach, anyways, i decided i was going to go see him so that i could yell at him and make sure he felt awful for hurting me so badly. so i did that, and it was good. i wsa nice to be able to tell him exactly how i feel about him and everything for once. and he was extremely sorry and felt like crap and knows he treated me like crap and IS crap...lol. don't you hate it when you have those friends that its really hard to get mad at and stay mad at? i mean sometimes its ok, but when you really want to stay mad, its annoying. anyways, he is one of those guys. he of course ended up making me laugh and all, and all in all i had a good time. honestly, i mean, i got to be mean(for once) and i got to laugh, and even got numerous compliments, haha. i feel really good now. the only thing that slightly irks me is that he could make me laugh and therefore make me less angry, well, visibly angry. i'm still really hurt and all, but God will help fix that, ; ) so all in all, so far, i've really had a great day, haha, crazy isn't it? : D

its sort of a sesame seed paste...

today started out not so great, but now its been going quite well : ) yay for david n.!!! i was talking with dave online when he suddenly demanded that i come over and eat string beans, rice and tahini sauce so, of course, i complied to his wishes, well actually he drove the lengthy two blocks so i wouldn't have to walk them, yay for friends that support me in my lazy endeavours(yes that's the british way to spell it and thats ok, hehe) so, i had a delicious meal, skillfully prepared by one of my favorite dave's and then we proceeded to barnes and noble to read children's books. of course the entire time i was reading the stories to dave he was marvelling at the amount of children in the children's section...i love my friends. anyways, then we bought a peach smoothie for samantha who just got her wisdom teeth out this morning, poor baby. so we visited our favorite chipmunk and gave her the yummy smoothie and just had a grand ol' time. yay for that!! then later on i mowed the lawn, well almost, i finish the front and half of the back before i broke the lawn mower...hehe oops, but never fear, dad fixed it and then finished mowing for me, what a nice daddy! :) so now i'm about to leave for church and see some more awesome people! score for me, hehe yay for being in a much better mood, but that's what friends are for aren't they? i love you guys.

if life were simple we wouldnt have anything to talk about

<<- ->>

life is a very very funny thing don't you think? it most definitely like to throw me lots of curves balls, just to see how fast i can get out of the way before one hits me straight in the face and knocks me out... and i'm not moving out of the way as quickly as i used too... i just don't know what to do anymore. i'm so confused and yet somehow completely clear on so many things. i know what to do and what i need to do, i just can't or don't want to...i don't know. not at all. i hate it when i really ought to tell someone something, but i just can't because i'm afraid. i don't like feeling like that, not at all : ( sorry for the pretty depressing update, oh well, i can't be little miss happy-go-lucky all the time now can i? then i'd be too predictable ; )

sweet syonara

i have no i dea how to spell the japanese word for goodbye(syonara) but thats ok. i really should remember because i took japanese in kindergarten...go figure, lol, gimme a break i went to a weird school. : D

i went to warped tour in charlotte today for some awesome music with some really awesome people : D yay. i got pretty beat up in the mosh pits, but thats ok, i had my revenge on the people with flying elbows and swinging fists. i'm not sure why, but i find it really hilarious when i get mad, i just get SOOOO pissed off, yah know? so i just kinda find it funny, but then again i find most things funny, well, no i retract that statement, many things make me smile and or laugh, but its really just my nature, at least i like to think so. i can't define my nature. only my Creator and Savior can because He is the only one who actually knows all that goes on in this crazy head of mine. ah well, i'm really too tired to care at all about much right now, so i'm off to bed to relish my final days of summer :*(

summertime and livin' is easy...

well, i had a live journal, well still have actually, but i kind of felt like getting a blog too since half of my friends have blogs and the other half have livejournals. anyways, its summertime and living is easy : D i just got back from a wonderful week at the beach with my extended family on my dad's side, which amounts to about, oh about 30 people, lol. it was awesome as always, its definitely one of, if not the highest point of my year. hehe yay for my family! : D lol, anyways, tomorrow i'm going to warped tour alllllll day long with David and some othre friends, and that requires me getting up very very VERY early, so i'm off to bed.

ok, just posting away :)

ok, just posting away :)